At the core of any conscious love relationship are three key elements: respect, communication, and understanding.
Respect means honoring each other’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions without judgment or criticism.
Communication is about being open and honest with your partner, sharing your thoughts, feelings, and needs without fear or shame.
Understanding involves gaining insight into your partner’s perspective—having empathy for their struggles and offering compassion when needed.
Bringing these three pillars to the forefront of a relationship can offer many benefits to both parties involved. When we cultivate an atmosphere of respect and understanding, it allows us to truly connect with ourselves and our partners in authentic, meaningful, and lasting ways. This kind of connection can be incredibly rewarding; it helps us build trust together while also deepening our self-awareness as individuals. Gaining an understanding of our own needs as well as those of our partner helps us make decisions that encourage stability and security—two essential core values we discussed in Part 1.
Let’s explore what conscious love looks like in practice. Creating conscious love involves taking risks, opening up emotionally, letting go of control, and showing empathy toward each other at all times, no matter what life throws at us. By committing yourself fully to this type of loving connection, you will find yourself growing together with your partner rather than apart from them—creating shared meaning and experiences along the way. Here are some practices that allow conscious love to grow, as well as some quick tips on how to implement these practices into the fabric of your relationships:
Make Room for Each Other’s Past and Growth
We all come with our own stories and, sometimes, baggage. In a rock-solid relationship, you give each other the space to deal with that and grow from it. Here’s how:
Show Patience: Healing old wounds doesn’t happen overnight. Give your partner time and space.
Support Their Growth: Encourage your partner to learn and grow, and be their cheerleader.
Keep the Communication Lines Open: Make sure you’re both comfortable talking about the tough stuff.
Keep Your Cool and Really Listen
Knowing when to take a step back and cool off during an argument is key. And remember, listening is more important than being right. Quick tips:
Know When to Pause: Learn to recognize when a conversation is getting too heated, and take a break.
Practice Active Listening: Show that you’re really paying attention, and make sure your partner feels heard.
Create a Judgment-Free Zone: Make your relationship a safe space for open communication.
Tune In to Your Partner’s Needs
Relationships are a two-way street. It’s not just about your needs; your partner has them, too. Make it a point to check in with your partner regularly about what they need. Try these:
Ask and Listen: Regularly ask your partner how they’re doing and what they need from you.
Show You Care: Your actions often speak louder than words. Show your partner you’re there for them.
Be Responsive: When your partner expresses a need, do your best to meet it.
Get Real About Feelings
Being honest about your feelings can make or break a relationship. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. How to do it:
Don’t Hold Back: Share your true feelings, even if it seems scary.
Create a Safe Space for Sharing: Work on making your relationship a safe space for both of you to share freely.
Be There for Each Other: When your partner shares their feelings, show empathy and support.
Build Empathy and Shared Experiences
Understanding where your partner is coming from and sharing fun experiences can really strengthen your connection. Here’s how to do this:
Show Empathy: Be there for your partner, especially when they’re going through a tough time.
Make Time for Fun: Don’t forget to laugh and have fun together. It’s crucial for a healthy relationship.
Create Your Own Traditions: Having special rituals just for the two of you can bring you closer.
Choose Connection over Being Right
It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to be right. But in the end, what’s more important: being right, or being connected? Remember:
Focus on Understanding: Try to see things from your partner’s perspective, even if you don’t agree.
Learn to Apologize: Saying sorry when you’re wrong goes a long way.
Keep Your Priorities Straight: Your relationship should be more important than winning an argument.
Turn Conflict into Growth
Arguments happen. It’s how you deal with them that counts. Use disagreements as opportunities to understand each other better and strengthen your bond.
View Conflict as an Opportunity: Instead of as a battle, see arguments as a chance to grow together.
Stay Calm: Keep your cool, even when things get heated.
