“That soon?” Her uneasiness was back, but I wasn’t having it.
“Yes! So tonight, we better get down to business and figure out what she likes to do.” My excitement for her stepping outside of her comfort zone was overflowing, but the weight of what that meant was crashing down on me.
Chapter 18Shiloh
Ihad seen Sonya go from aloof Barbie to online detective in seconds. It didn’t matter who she was digging up dirt on. She had an uncanny ability to discover their life story in the blink of an eye. But the funny thing was, Caz and I came up with nothing when we tried to gain intel on Ember.
How were two knowledgeable people so incompetent? If someone made all their socials private, how did you learn about them? I knew who I could ask, but I didn’t want her involved any more than she had already made herself.
Caz and I spent hours finding only two public posts, and neither of them told us anything about her. One was a repost for some business, and the other was a picture of a beach with the caption: Don’t be salty. The only thing we gathered was that she was private, which wasn’t a bad thing because I was, too.
However, Caz still thought it would be a good time for me to ask Ember out, and I didn’t want to keep putting her off. She had a job to do, and my reluctance was making it harder for her.
I made my way to work, and Yoni was already there. “Good morning.” I waved, but I didn’t plan on stopping.
“So, when were you going to tell me?” Her words stopped me in my tracks, and I did a slow spin on my heel.
“You’ll need to be more specific.” I couldn’t imagine what she was referring to.
“Oh, I don’t know, you and Caz?” Her voice had a bite to it, but I didn’t know where it came from.
“What about Caz?” Did she know she was my Jedi Master? I wasn’t about to spill anything until she spelled it out.
“I saw you last night—at Illumi-Links. Did you think I wouldn’t figure out where you were going?”
“I didn’t care if you knew. Besides, I didn’t go with Caz. I went with Sonya.”
She shouldn’t be mad at me for Caz blowing her off. I had nothing to do with it.
“Right. She just happened to show up and leave with you?”
“How do you know she left with me?” The way her eyes bore into mine left me uneasy.
“You’re not denying it.” Was she throwing out random accusations, hoping I would confirm them?
“What’s going on, Yoni? I’m not keeping anything from you, and if you have a problem with Caz, you need to take it up with her—not me.”
“This has nothing to do with her. It has everything to do with you.” Her tone was sharp, and I didn’t know where her anger came from.
“What about me?”
“Do you think you can do better than me?” Her question came out of left field.
“Yoni, we’re not together. What do you mean?”
“But we were, and you never ended things. You just stopped accepting my advances. I assumed it was because you weren’t ready to date someone, but now you’re out with two gorgeous women on the same night.”
Gross, one of those women was my cousin, and the other was quickly becoming my best friend.
“Yoni, you are poly and don’t mind dating other people at the same time. Why are you getting upset with me?” It wasn’t like I was dating someone behind her back. She and I weren’t anything to each other besides coworkers.
“Yes, but I wanted you to be my core.” She stared at me like I knew what that meant.
“Look, I’m not sure how relationships work for you, but I only want one person to spoil, shower with affection, and care for. I don’t need a parade of people to be happy.”
“I never said I needed that. But I have a big heart. I can love more than one person at a time, so is that a sin?” She seemed to think I was judging her.
“No. There is nothing wrong with how you choose to live your life, but that’s not what I want for mine. And if I didn’t make that clear and left you confused, I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t think we were even together since you were dating so many other people. And that’s why I didn’t officially break up with you.” That might have been naïve of me, but it was the truth.
“I cared about you. You made me feel special. That’s why I didn’t sleep with you.” Her statement was baffling, but I didn’t ask for clarification.
“Okay. I should have communicated better. I hope you find what you’re looking for, but I’m sure it’s not me. Our beliefs are too different.” This wasn't the ideal way to begin work, and I hoped it wasn’t setting a precedent for the rest of my day.
“What if it’s you I’m looking for?” She had to be kidding right now.
We had been working together for six months since we stopped “seeing each other,” and now she was interested? At one point, I thought Yoni and I could have been something, but that ship had more than sailed—it was lost at sea with no chance of rescue.
“I don’t know what happened from when we went out to now, but you deserve someone who sees relationships the same way you do, and that person isn’t me. We can work together because we are focused on a healthy lifestyle. But I think we are on two different pages when it comes to the big things.” It was more like I was in a novel and she was in a coloring book, but I didn’t need to be harsh.
“So, what are you saying?”
How could I be more transparent than by saying that we didn’t belong together?
“I think you are a wonderful person, but you’re not my person.” Was that straightforward enough for her?
“But you think Caz is?” Her words were full of venom.
What was she talking about? She was the one who had asked Caz out, not me. All of her aggression was misplaced.
