“That’s evident.” I dug my fingers harder into the tight muscles, and she let out a low moan. “Did I hurt you?”
“No. You hit the right spot.”
“That’s what she said.”
She threw herself back against me with a burst of laughter, and I couldn't resist joining in.
“This is what you need to do.” Her words caught me off guard.
“What are you talking about?”
She sat forward and looked at me. “When you’re relaxed, you lose some of your shyness, and your true personality emerges. This is how you need to interact with people. Let them see the real you.” She was done opening up and returned to my problems.
“I appreciate that. But it’s easier said than done.” I had to feel comfortable with someone to let my walls down, and even then, I still kept many things to myself out of fear of rejection.
“I get that, but we can work on it. I know you no longer want to go after Ember, but maybe there is someone else you’d be interested in?”
Since this was where the conversation had gone, I wouldn’t fight it. Besides, maybe I did still want her advice. She might have thought she was a loner, but she couldn’t deny that she was inherently a people person.
“To tell you the truth, I still like Ember.” Knowing that Caz wasn’t interested in her brought back my prior feelings. It wasn’t like they had just gone away, anyway. But it appeared safe to voice them again.
“Oh?” She seemed surprised, but not in a good way.
“Is that a problem?”
Did I read the situation wrong? Maybe Ember hit on Caz, but Caz didn’t return the sentiment like with Yoni. And maybe Caz didn’t want to tell me that because she knew it would hurt my feelings.
“No. That’s not a problem. What happened to make you change your mind?”
How honest should I be right now? I took a beat before responding but figured it was better not to lie. Caz had been nothing but understanding and patient with me, and if I misled her, how could she help me?
“I thought you had a crush on her, and I didn’t think I could compete with you, so I dropped it.”
She sat there stunned, and I wondered if I had unknowingly brought those feelings to the forefront of her mind. She covered her mouth and exhaled deeply through her nose as she shook her head. “No. Noooo. Nope. Not even a little.” She was so adamant that I thought maybe she protested too much. But then she began chuckling, which confused me.
“What’s so funny?”
“Sorry. Ember and I would never be a good match. We appear to both have forceful personalities.”
I wasn’t acquainted well enough with Ember yet, so I was curious to find out what she knew. “You think she’s like you?”
“God, no. I think she is… confident?” Her voice lilted up on the last word as if it were a question.
“Have you dug into her socials?” Where was she getting her information?
I didn’t question Ember’s confidence. She had every right to feel that way because she was striking and alluring.
“No. I have done nothing without you. I’m basing it on my interaction at the coffeehouse.”
“What did she say?” I could tell I was missing something, but I wasn’t sure if she wanted to fill me in.
“It wasn’t what she said as much as how she acted. I read energy, and hers wasn’t… on the same wavelength as mine.” She spoke cautiously, and I was tired of reading between the lines.
“Do you think I have a shot or not?” I wanted her to come right out and say what she was thinking.
“You have more than a shot. Don’t you realize how incredible you are? If Ember doesn’t want to go out with you, that’s her loss—not yours.”
Although her words were touching, I remained skeptical that Ember would share the same perspective. Caz knew me, so she would see me in a better light. Did that mean Ember would give me the same consideration? Probably not. However, was the chance worth the risk? I guess I’d have to see for myself.
Chapter 17Caz
Irecalled how, when Davia had left me, my tears became a constant companion for two months as I watched my world slowly unravel around me. After my uncontrollable crying, I sternly reminded myself that I needed to be stronger and not let my emotions consume me like that ever again. But tonight, without my say-so, they slipped down my cheeks while Shiloh comforted me.
My life had become an impenetrable fortress, but she managed to sneak through my defenses, which made me uneasy. And when she began massaging my back, my mind wandered to places it shouldn’t have—especially once I found out she still had a thing for Ember.
Shiloh wouldn’t be interested in me romantically if she were into the vapid type. So, we had made it full circle, from her taking care of me to me supporting her desire to ask out Ember.
It wasn’t the best situation for me when I was already emotional, but I would switch off my feelings and persevere. That was what I always did.
“So, are you still up for being my Yoda?” She stared at me with her gentle caramel eyes, and I hoped Ember would handle her heart with the care it deserved.
As much as I thought she could do better than Ember, it wasn’t my place to say so. But I thought it would be better to have me involved than not. That way, if anything terrible happened, I would be there to pick up the pieces. I knew all too well what it felt like to deal with rejection alone.
“You got it.” I offered my best, genuine smile, even though I wasn’t quite feeling it. I needed to change the subject before she questioned my reaction. “Is this for the show or just as friends?” I would do it either way, but I wouldn’t be mad if I didn’t have to do the Pepper Parade after all.
“Well, you need content, and I want to help you, too.”
“I appreciate that, but it’s only if you want to. There is no pressure, okay?” I didn’t selfishly want to let her do something just to please me.
