“Oh, I don’t know, you and Caz?” Her voice had a bite to it, but I didn’t know where it came from.

“What about Caz?” Did she know she was my Jedi Master? I wasn’t about to spill anything until she spelled it out.

“I saw you last night—at Illumi-Links. Did you think I wouldn’t figure out where you were going?”

“I didn’t care if you knew. Besides, I didn’t go with Caz. I went with Sonya.”

She shouldn’t be mad at me for Caz blowing her off. I had nothing to do with it.

“Right. She just happened to show up and leave with you?”

“How do you know she left with me?” The way her eyes bore into mine left me uneasy.

“You’re not denying it.” Was she throwing out random accusations, hoping I would confirm them?

“What’s going on, Yoni? I’m not keeping anything from you, and if you have a problem with Caz, you need to take it up with her—not me.”

“This has nothing to do with her. It has everything to do with you.” Her tone was sharp, and I didn’t know where her anger came from.

“What about me?”

“Do you think you can do better than me?” Her question came out of left field.

“Yoni, we’re not together. What do you mean?”

“But we were, and you never ended things. You just stopped accepting my advances. I assumed it was because you weren’t ready to date someone, but now you’re out with two gorgeous women on the same night.”

Gross, one of those women was my cousin, and the other was quickly becoming my best friend.

“Yoni, you are poly and don’t mind dating other people at the same time. Why are you getting upset with me?” It wasn’t like I was dating someone behind her back. She and I weren’t anything to each other besides coworkers.

“Yes, but I wanted you to be my core.” She stared at me like I knew what that meant.

“Look, I’m not sure how relationships work for you, but I only want one person to spoil, shower with affection, and care for. I don’t need a parade of people to be happy.”

“I never said I needed that. But I have a big heart. I can love more than one person at a time, so is that a sin?” She seemed to think I was judging her.

“No. There is nothing wrong with how you choose to live your life, but that’s not what I want for mine. And if I didn’t make that clear and left you confused, I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t think we were even together since you were dating so many other people. And that’s why I didn’t officially break up with you.” That might have been naïve of me, but it was the truth.

“I cared about you. You made me feel special. That’s why I didn’t sleep with you.” Her statement was baffling, but I didn’t ask for clarification.

“Okay. I should have communicated better. I hope you find what you’re looking for, but I’m sure it’s not me. Our beliefs are too different.” This wasn't the ideal way to begin work, and I hoped it wasn’t setting a precedent for the rest of my day.

“What if it’s you I’m looking for?” She had to be kidding right now.

We had been working together for six months since we stopped “seeing each other,” and now she was interested? At one point, I thought Yoni and I could have been something, but that ship had more than sailed—it was lost at sea with no chance of rescue.

“I don’t know what happened from when we went out to now, but you deserve someone who sees relationships the same way you do, and that person isn’t me. We can work together because we are focused on a healthy lifestyle. But I think we are on two different pages when it comes to the big things.” It was more like I was in a novel and she was in a coloring book, but I didn’t need to be harsh.

“So, what are you saying?”

How could I be more transparent than by saying that we didn’t belong together?

“I think you are a wonderful person, but you’re not my person.” Was that straightforward enough for her?

“But you think Caz is?” Her words were full of venom.

What was she talking about? She was the one who had asked Caz out, not me. All of her aggression was misplaced.

“Caz and I are just friends, so can we please let this go?” I shouldn’t have had to defend myself, but I didn’t want her to believe her reaction was justified.

“Sure. Consider it dropped.” She glared at me, and it felt anything but that.

However, I was so anxious about asking Ember out that I had no energy to deal with her drama. Without another word, I walked to the back and shut myself in my office. I needed to recenter my energy.

I repeated the mantra Caz gave me, trying to convince myself that I had the strength I needed, but my mind and body were locked in battle.

With every deep breath I took to relax, a different negative thought popped into my head. I had now worked myself into a frenzy and was ready to call it quits until my phone rang, distracting me from my inner demon.

“Hello, this is Shiloh Wilbers, Meal Planner Extraordinaire for Sprout and Sprigs. How may I help you?” I recited on autopilot, but a sense of calm washed over me when I heard the voice on the other end.

“Hello, Ms. Wilbers. I hoped to meet with you before the main event to get some footage. Would that be okay?” Caz’s voice was breezy, and the tension lessened with every word she spoke—until I processed what she had said.

“Did you say tape me before?” The nerves were getting the best of me, but I couldn’t keep letting her down. I wouldn’t allow it. She deserved better, and I wanted to be better.

“Not unless you want to wait.” Her patience with me seemed to be unending.

“No, we don’t need to wait. Tell me when you want to meet, and I’ll be ready.” Saying it out loud was the only way to hold myself accountable.

“Awesome. I’ll text you after I meet with Matrix. I hope you have an amazing morning, and I can’t wait to see you.” She was charming and made me smile, but she quickly added, “Because we have a lot of work to do. But don’t worry; we’ll get it done.”

It had made me happy that she wanted to see me, but my heart sank a little once she said it was just for work. I shouldn’t take it personally because it was my fault she was pressed for time. Some of me liked the idea of having someone excited to be in my life—even if it was just a friend.

Chapter 19Caz

Waking up this morning, I should have been grateful that Shiloh wanted to continue the segment because that meant she was literally saving my ass. But a part of me would gladly put myself on the Pepper Parade hook if it meant I could talk some sense into her.

However, at this point, if I told her my true feelings about Ember, she might misinterpret my intentions since she already did that once. She would probably assume I was warning her off so I could sneak in and take a shot. I shuddered, thinking about it.

Ember’s vibe reminded me so much of Davia that being around her triggered me. She was one of those beautiful people who were ugly the more you knew about them. It was probably her conceitedness that turned me off the most. That was the same with Davia. There was a line that you shouldn’t cross with confidence—cockiness.

To be fair, I could have been projecting some of my negative feelings about Davia onto Ember, but I didn’t think I was wrong. Reading people was something I did very well, but Shiloh had known Ember longer, so I would refrain from putting in my two cents. Although I wasn’t sure “known” was the correct word, it seemed like infatuation was more appropriate. Again, I shouldn’t let it bother me.

My job was to help Shiloh find a date. It wasn’t my duty to decide who would be a suitable candidate. The only outcome I could wish for was that Ember didn’t embarrass her or hurt her feelings. If those two things didn’t happen, my emotions would remain neutral—at least on the outside.

But as I rolled out of bed, a knot tightened in my stomach, and the unease was overwhelming. Something told me this was a bad idea, but it wasn’t my idea, so what could I do? Maybe if I called Shiloh, I’d be able to gauge where she was, lessening my worry.

I grabbed my phone and walked into the kitchen to start coffee. It was almost nine, and I had slept through the relentless glare of the morning sun. But now that I was up, a throbbing ache pounded behind my eyes that only caffeine could cure.