I also had a problem with my legs. They were very swollen for a month. I couldn’t even walk. And they gave me no treatment whatsoever at the beginning. The nurse passed by every day just to check on the prisoners, and one of the prisoners who was our representative with the prison administration kept pushing the nurse and told him, “If anything happens to this inmate, we will blame you.” And after almost a month they took me to the doctor. I got medicine for the swelling, but they still wouldn’t fill my prescriptions.
My disease can be fatal, but it doesn’t kill fast. It takes time. If I don’t take medicine, especially for infections, I could die. When I was in prison, my eyes were hurting a lot because I had an infection. It was almost three months before I could see an eye doctor. When I went to him, he didn’t take me seriously. He just gave me eye drops that were only meant to moisten the eyes. I left the drops on his desk and told him, “I’m not using those.” I was scared, and the other prisoners were really worried all the time because I didn’t get the treatment that I needed. I filed complaints with various human rights organizations in Israel. They would respond and do their best. But I was cautious about filing complaints, because the Israeli authorities could extend my detention as long as they wanted if they thought I was causing problems.
I HAVE ALL THE POWER NOW
I stayed in prison for a year. The authorities renewed my detention three times. They finally released me in Tulkarm in August of 2011, and my family members were waiting for me there.22
The hardest meeting was with my son Moad, because he hadn’t been allowed to visit me in prison. Seeing him again was very emotional. From the first moment that I entered prison, I had been waiting for that moment, I had been picturing it, all of the time. And now it was not my imagination, it was really happening. When I saw him after my release, he was eighteen, a grown man. It had been very hard for him that year—he’d needed his mother because he had the tawjihi exams.23 When I got out, he was already finished with the exam, and he had registered for school. So many women came to visit me at the house, but he wanted to stay with me all the time. So when I was sitting with my visitors, he would keep calling for me, “Mom, come see this, come see that,” as an excuse to talk to me.
The positive thing is that when I got out of prison, I felt that my children really did mature in that one year. Also, when I wasn’t home, Hazem saw the huge role that I play in organizing everything with the kids, the family, and the house. So he appreciates my role way more than he used to! He’s always helped out because of my lupus, but he was even more appreciative of what I could do when I got out.
Psychologically speaking, my time in prison still affects me. Now, when I get sick, I always go back to that period of time in my head and remember how it was to be in prison. For example, I’m very careful about having my medications nearby because I was deprived of them when I was in prison. When I’m sick, I go the very next morning to the doctor, and I have the feeling that I’ve been deprived of the medications for a long time. Now when I go to the doctor and he smiles at me, I really do feel it and appreciate it. I used to take many little things for granted. For example, just having pins to hold my head scarf in place. In prison, we couldn’t have them, so now I appreciate them.
After being released from prison, I didn’t change my activities, such as visiting the families of prisoners. I continue because I believe in my work. They can’t stop me from having my conviction. And I’m a very social person. They can’t change my character, you know.
One thing really opened my eyes. When you’re in suffering, it’s completely different from being the one outside of the suffering. All the time, I would go to the wives of the prisoners and try to comfort them and tell them to be patient and do this and do that. They would keep saying, “It’s hard, it’s hard,” and I would comfort them.
But what I found out is that it’s a million times harder for the prisoner himself than his family, and I tried it firsthand. I used to think that prison would just be somewhere you rest. There’s no responsibility, you just sleep, and there’s nothing to do. Everyone has all these errands that we have to run, and we have no time. And we’re just busy all the time. This is a bliss that we don’t appreciate. You have to appreciate every day, even though it’s tiresome. And once I was in prison, I really saw it differently. Now, every time I feel I’m in a tough position or it’s hard, I just remind myself of my time in prison, and it’s more than enough to bring me up again and motivate me. I have all the power now. I can do whatever I want.
Since we completed our interviews with Kifah, her son Moad was imprisoned. He was arrested on June 20, 2014 by the Palestinian Authority. Moad had participated in a demonstration in which he carried a Hamas flag. He was accused of hitting a Palestinian Authority policeman, but he and his family deny this. He was detained for twenty-four days. Meanwhile, Kifah’s health has continued to deteriorate. In August, her family was so worried about her that they decided to take her to Jerusalem. The family was successful in Kifah into a hospital there. Doctors ran a number of tests on her to try to find the source of her pain, but at the time of this printing, she is still waiting for results.
1 For more on the United Nations Relief and Works Agency (UNRWA) and Palestinian refugees, see the Glossary, page 304.
2 An abaya is a long, robe-like garment that covers the entire body except for the face, feet, and hands.
3 Yazur was a village just east of Tel Aviv and Jaffa that had a population of over 4,000 Arabs prior to 1948. It was destroyed and depopulated in the lead-up to the Arab-Israeli War. For more on the conflict in 1948, see Appendix I, page 295.
4 Al-Bireh is a city of over 40,000 people just outside Ramallah. Though it doesn’t house any refugee camps within city limits, the city has become populated by refugee-status families in recent decades, so that now more than 50 percent of the city’s population has refugee status under UNRWA.
5 Nablus has a population of over 120,000 and is one of the major urban areas of the West Bank. It’s located thirty miles north of Ramallah and Al-Bireh.
6 For more information on the West Bank closures system and checkpoints, see the Glossary, page 304.
7 Psagot is an Israeli settlement of around 2,000 people located just south of Al-Bireh and just east of Ramallah.
8 The First Intifada was an uprising throughout the West Bank and Gaza against Israeli military occupation. It began in December 1987 and lasted until 1993. Intifada in Arabic means “to shake off.” For more information, see Appendix I, page 295.
9 Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease that can affect the heart, lungs, kidneys, and joints. Those who suffer from the disease may have symptoms such as fevers, rashes, and fatigue. Kifah has also been diagnosed with Raynaud’s syndrome, which is a chronic condition sometimes associated with lupus that causes restriction of blood vessels in the extremities in response to cold or stress. The hands and feet of those with Raynaud’s syndrome are often discolored, and the disease can lead to tissue damage and infections such as gangrene. Kifah has been more recently diagnosed with Sjogren’s syndrome, another autoimmune disorder, which destroys the salivary and lacrimal glands, causing chronic dry mouth and eyes.
10 The Oslo Accords took place in 1993 and led to the formation of the Palestinian Authority, an interim government that was designed to administer parts of Palestine until the peace process was finalized. For more information on the Palestinian Authority and the Oslo Accords, see the Glossary, page 304.
11 Hamas is a political party that was elected to power in Gaza in 2006 and subsequently forced the Palestinian Authority (largely controlled by Hamas’s rival party, Fatah) out of Gaza. For more information on Hamas, see the Glossary, page 304.
12 The Change and Reform List was a political bloc made up of parties that opposed Fatah, including breakaway factions within Fatah itself. Though the Change and Reform bloc was not synonymous with Hamas, Hamas was the majority party within the bloc, which ran under the name Change and Reform Party in the 2006 legislative elections that brought Hamas to power in Gaza.
13 An exit exam for high school. For more on the tawjihi exams, see the Glossary, page 304.
14 Al-Quds Open University is a distance-learning public institution with over 60,000 students enrolled. It is not affiliated with Al-Quds University, a university system with three campuses throughout the West Bank.
15 The hijab is a garment that covers the head and neck and is worn by many Muslim women throughout the world.
16 Al-Muskubiya (“the Russian Compound”) is a large compound in Jerusalem that was built in the nineteenth century to house an influx of Russian Orthodox pilgrims into the city during the time of Ottoman rule. It now houses a major interrogation center and lockup, as well as courthouses and other Israeli government buildings.
17 For more on administrative detention, which is detention without formal charges, see Glossary, page 304.
18 HaSharon Prison is in Kfar Saba, a suburb of Tel Aviv/Jaffa. It is one of the larger prison complexes in Israel and houses Israeli and Palestinian prisoners in separate wards. There are few female Palestinians in the prison, however—perhaps a dozen at any given time.
19Fajr, which means “dawn” in Arabic, is the first of five daily prayers said by practicing Muslims.
20 The Palestinian Broadcasting Corporation (PBC) was established in 1994 after the formation of the Palestinian Authority.
21 Several of Kifah’s fingers are damaged or partially missing from cold or infections. When she told this story, she held up one of the damaged fingers to show why she couldn’t feel the pain from the cut.
22 Tulkarm is a city of over 60,000 people on the northwest border of the West Bank, about sixty miles north of Al-Bireh.
23 An exit exam for high school. For more on the tawjihi exams, see the Glossary, page 304.
NADER AL-MASRI RUNNING IN GAZA CITY
NADER AL-MASRI
Semi-professional runner, 34
Born in Beit Hanoun, Gaza
Interviewed in Gaza City, Gaza
