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panic attack symptoms: Brian J. Cox,, Norman S. Endler, and Richard P. Swinson, “Anxiety Sensitivity and Panic Attack Symptomatology,” Behaviour Research and Therapy 33, no. 7 (1995): 833–36.
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“no conviction of the culprit”: From the Chandler Museum Public History Program on Women Leaders and Activists, Chandler, Arizona.
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The following exercises: Jennifer Crocker, Yu Niiya, and Dominik Mischkowski, “Why Does Writing about Important Values Reduce Defensiveness? Self-Affirmation and the Role of Positive Other-Directed Feelings,” Psychological Science 19, no. 7 (2008): 740–47; Amber S. Emanuel et al., “Spontaneous Self-Affirmation Is Associated with Psychological Well-Being: Evidence from a US National Adult Survey Sample,” Journal of Health Psychology 23, no. 1 (2018): 95–102; Rebecca A. Ferrer and Geoffrey L. Cohen, “Reconceptualizing Self-Affirmation with the Trigger and Channel Framework: Lessons from the Health Domain,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 23, no. 3 (2019): 285–304; Philine S. Harris, Peter R. Harris, and Eleanor Miles, “Self-Affirmation Improves Performance on Tasks Related to Executive Functioning,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 70 (2017): 281–85; Kristin Layous et al., “Feeling Left Out, but Affirmed: Protecting against the Negative Effects of Low Belonging in College,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 69 (2017): 227–31.
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Value Trade-Offs to Know Yourself: Items 1 and 2, and variants of items 3 and 9, are drawn from an activity in this study: Virginia R. Hash, “An Evaluation of a Values Clarification Seminar in the Preservice Education of Teachers,” Ph.D. diss., Iowa State University, 1975.
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acknowledge the distress: Here are a few reviews of empirical research detailing the importance of identifying felt experiences as a first step in being able to engage in healthy self-regulation (the self’s capacity for altering what happens next): Pablo Briñol and Kenneth G. DeMarree, “Social Metacognition: Thinking about Thinking in Social Psychology,” in Frontiers of Social Psychology: Social Metacognition, ed. Pablo Briñol and Kenneth G. DeMarree (New York: Psychology Press, 2012); Brett Q. Ford and James J. Gross, “Emotion Regulation: Why Beliefs Matter,” Canadian Psychology/Psychologie Canadienne 59, no. 1 (2018): 1–14; Richard G. Tedeschi and Lawrence G. Calhoun, “Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual Foundations and Empirical Evidence,” Psychological Inquiry 15, no. 1 (2004): 1–18.
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skillfulness at “emotional labeling”: Todd B. Kashdan, Lisa Feldman Barrett, and Patrick E. McKnight, “Unpacking Emotion Differentiation: Transforming Unpleasant Experience by Perceiving Distinctions in Negativity,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 24, no. 1 (2015): 10–16.
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consumed 40 percent less alcohol: Todd B. Kashdan et al., “Emotion Differentiation as Resilience against Excessive Alcohol Use: An Ecological Momentary Assessment in Underage Social Drinkers,” Psychological Science 21, no. 9 (2010): 1341–47.
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less likely to retaliate: Richard S. Pond et al., “Emotion Differentiation Buffers Aggressive Behavior in Angered People: A Daily Diary Analysis,” Emotion 12, no. 2 (2011): 326–37.
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better able to handle: Todd B. Kashdan et al., “Who Is Most Vulnerable to Social Rejection? The Toxic Combination of Low Self-Esteem and Lack of Negative Emotion Differentiation on Neural Responses to Rejection,” PLoS One 9, no. 3 (2014): e90651.
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When you label your emotions effectively: Brad A. Brown et al., “Does Negative Emotion Differentiation Influence Daily Self-Regulation after Stressful Events? A 4-Year Daily Diary Study,” Emotion (in press).
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physically handling spiders: Katharina Kircanski, Matthew D. Lieberman, and Michelle G. Craske, “Feelings into Words: Contributions of Language to Exposure Therapy,” Psychological Science 23, no. 10 (2012): 1086–91.
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less progress on their most important goals: Todd B. Kashdan, William E. Breen, and Terri Julian, “Everyday Strivings in War Veterans with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: Suffering from a Hyper-Focus on Avoidance and Emotion Regulation,” Behavior Therapy 41, no. 3 (2010): 350–63. For an extension of this work with adults suffering from social anxiety disorder, see Fallon R. Goodman et al., “Personal Strivings to Understand Anxiety Disorders: Social Anxiety as an Exemplar,” Clinical Psychological Science 7, no. 2 (2019): 283–301.
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gradients of particular emotions: From a variety of sources: Robert Plutchik, Emotions and Life: Perspectives from Psychology, Biology, and Evolution (Washington, DC: APA Press, 2003); Phillip Shaver et al., “Emotion Knowledge: Further Exploration of a Prototype Approach,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 52, no. 6 (1987): 1061–86.
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Cognitive defusion is a psychological exercise: Steven C. Hayes, Kirk D. Strosahl, and Kenneth G. Wilson, Review of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: An Experiential Approach to Behavior Change (New York: Guilford Press, 2002).
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write them down on a piece of paper: Pablo Briñol et al., “Treating Thoughts as Material Objects Can Increase or Decrease Their Impact on Evaluation,” Psychological Science 24, no. 1 (2013): 41–47.
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say them aloud: Akihiko Masuda et al., “The Effects of Cognitive Defusion and Thought Distraction on Emotional Discomfort and Believability of Negative Self-Referential Thoughts,” Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry 41, no. 1 (2010): 11–17. For replications and extensions, see Chloe Brandrick et al., “A Comparison of Ultra-Brief Cognitive Defusion and Positive Affirmation Interventions on the Reduction of Public Speaking Anxiety,” Psychological Record (2020): 1–9; Brett J. Deacon, “Cognitive Defusion versus Cognitive Restructuring in the Treatment of Negative Self-Referential Thoughts: An Investigation of Process and Outcome,” Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy 25, no. 3 (2011): 218–32; Maria Karekla et al., “Cognitive Restructuring vs. Defusion: Impact on Craving, Healthy and Unhealthy Food Intake,” Eating Behaviors 37 (2020), https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2020.101385.
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neutralize thoughts and feelings: Many of these are modifications of exercises created by psychological flexibility practitioners. See George H. Eifert and John P. Forsyth, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Anxiety Disorders: A Practitioner’s Treatment Guide to Using Mindfulness, Acceptance, and Values-Based Behavior Change Strategies (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2005); Hayes, Strosahl, and Wilson, Review of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy; Russ Harris, The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living (Boston: Trumpeter, 2008).
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An extension of the immortal words: Rollo May, Freedom and Responsibility Re-Examined (New York: Bureau of Publications, Columbia University, 1963): 101-2. This statement probably inspired the widely used quote attributed to Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Interestingly, many people cite this supposed Viktor Frankl quote without reference or source. It is unclear who invented these words. Rollo May’s words are equally, if not more, profound.
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“I would say the most important strategy”: Goddard, “Marty Goddard Interview Transcript.”
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keeping a journal of lessons learned: For the past seven years, I have kept a daily journal on the three most exceptional moments each day. Three is a manageable number. Exceptional moments can be healthy, unhealthy, or just interesting. If someone says something memorable, I enter verbatim quotes. You fail to retain many of the best moments in your life because they are fleeting. By jotting them down, I have a running tabulation of what inspires me, what influences me, what makes me laugh and cry, poignant moments, and how I have changed or stayed the same. In truth, your life is nothing more than a tapestry of moments. Fail to capture them and you fail to live. This is captured nicely in a 2014 TEDx talk by my longtime collaborator, Robert Biswas-Diener, titled “Your Happiest Days Are Behind You.” All of this is relevant to principled insubordinates who can easily forget to savor the milestones along the journey as they mistakenly hold out for the so-called finality of their mission (which rarely ever happens, as detailed in chapter 7). See Robert Biswas-Diener, “Your Happiest Days Are Behind You,” TEDxUNLV, Las Vegas, April 11, 2014, 13:18, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QTVv9tAlIE.
