30his amygdala had outgrown the rest of his brain American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, “Teen Brain: Behavior, Problem Solving, and Decision Making,” Facts for Families no. 95 (2017).

32developmentally appropriate curiosity “Normative Sexual Behavior,” National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth, https://ncsby.org/content/normative-sexual-behavior.

Chapter 2: Curiosity

38social learning … first studied in children by Albert Bandura in 1961 A. Bandura, D. Ross, and S. A. Ross, “Transmission of Aggression Through Imitation of Aggressive Models,” Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology 63, no. 3 (1961).

42Curiosity is completely natural, even curiosity about bodies and sex “Normative Sexual Behavior,” National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth, https://ncsby.org/content/normative-sexual-behavior.

45abstinence-only sex education K. F. Stanger-Hall and D.W. Hall, “Abstinence-Only Education and Teen Pregnancy Rates: Why We Need Comprehensive Sex Education in the U.S.,” PLoS One 6, no. 10 (2011): e24658, DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0024658.

46Providing age-appropriate information makes it measurably more difficult E. S. Goldfarb and L. D. Lieberman, “Three Decades of Research: The Case for Comprehensive Sex Education,” Journal of Adolescent Health 68 (2021).

Chapter 3: Consent

57the FRIES acronym “Sexual Consent,” Planned Parenthood, n.d., https://plannedparenthood.org/learn/relationships/sexual-consent.

59You respect their autonomy NetSmartzKids, “Who is a ‘Trusted Adult’?,” National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, n.d., https://www.missingkids.org/content/dam/netsmartz/downloadable/tipsheets/who-is-a-trusted-adult.pdf.

59the term “safe adult” “Child Sexual Abuse Statistics,” Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), 2015, https://www.rainn.org/articles/child-sexual-abuse.

60what qualities make a safe adult “Safe Adults,” Monique Burr Foundation for Children Prevention Education Programs, n.d., https://www.mbfpreventioneducation.org/safe-adults.

62Young children … should never be asked to keep secrets Amy Morin, “Talking to Your Kids About Secrets and Privacy,” VeryWell Family, updated March 31, 2021, https://www.verywellfamily.com/why-you-shouldnt-tell-your-child-to-keep-secrets-3880039.

63believe what they tell you, the first time they tell you “Step 5: React Responsibly,” Darkness to Light, n.d., https://www.d2l.org/education/5-steps/step-5/.

Chapter 5: Self-Stimulation and Exploration

81comprehensive, accurate sex education and healthy relationships education is not the norm in the US “The SIECUS State Profiles,” Sex Ed for Social Change, https://siecus.org/state-profiles/.

85all examples where concern is warranted “Warning Signs for Young Children,” RAINN, n.d., https://www.rainn.org/articles/warning-signs-young-children.

86less likely to be convinced that anyone else should touch them E. S. Goldfarb, L. D. Lieberman, “Three Decades of Research: The Case for Comprehensive Sex Education,” Journal of Adolescent Health 68 (2021); M. Schneider and J. S. Hirsch, “Comprehensive Sexuality Education as a Primary Prevention Strategy for Sexual Violence Perpetration,” Trauma Violence Abuse 21, no. 3 (July 2020): 439–455, doi: 10.1177/1524838018772855.

86most coexploration between same-age peers IngBeth Larsson and Carl-Göran Svedin, “Sexual Experiences in Childhood: Young Adults’ Recollections,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 31, no. 3 (June 2002): 263–73, DOI:10.1023/a:1015252903931.

86not because coexploration with same-age peers is damaging “Tip Sheet: Age-Appropriate Sexual Behavior,” Stop It Now!, n.d., https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/age-appropriate-sexual-behavior.

86any power imbalance, coercion, threats, or manipulation “Child Abuse,” Mayo Clinic Child and Family Advocacy Center, n.d., https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/child-abuse/symptoms-causes/syc-20370864; “Warning Signs for Young Children,” RAINN.

91a firmly established sense of privacy that may extend to discussing their bodies Ross D. Parke and Douglas B. Sawin, “Children’s Privacy in the Home: Developmental, Ecological, and Child-Rearing Determinants,” Environment and Behavior 11, no. 1 (1979): 87–104.

92Male condoms are one of the most effective and more accessible forms of STI protection and contraception available “How effective are condoms?,” Planned Parenthood, n.d., https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/condom/how-effective-are-condoms.

94Media representations of female pleasure still aren’t great Elizabeth Letsou, “Why the Proper Representation of Female Pleasure on Television Matters,” Her Campus, March 1, 2021, https://www.hercampus.com/culture/female-pleasure-representation-television/.

Chapter 6: Periods, Period.

105Treating menstruation this way … can help prevent children from developing feelings of fear and shame M. C. McHugh, “Menstrual Shame: Exploring the Role of ‘Menstrual Moaning,’ ” in C. Bobel, I .T. Winkler, B. Fahs, et al., The Palgrave Handbook of Critical Menstruation Studies (Singapore: Palgrave MacMillan, 2020), https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK565666/ doi: 10.1007/978-981-15-0614-7_32.

106Your vagina does not need soap or water or anything else in it to keep it clean Andrea Eisenberg, “Your Vagina is Self Cleaning,” Michican Women’s Health, September 22, 2021, http://michiganwomensobgyn.com/your-vagina-is-self-cleaning/.

109as early as age eight or nine, but generally speaking around age eleven or twelve Gladys M. Martinez, “Trends and Patterns in Menarche in the United States: 1995 through 2013-2017” National Health Statistics Reports, 146 (2020).

111there is some evidence that the aluminum isn’t good for us P. D. Darbre, “Aluminium, Antiperspirants and Breast Cancer,” Journal of Inorganic Biochemistry 99, no. 9 (2005): 1912–19.

Chapter 7: Pen15 Club

134Shampoo, conditioner, and soap can all irritate your urethra and give you an infection “5 Reasons Not to Masturbate with Soap,” Condomania, December 27, 2021, https://condomania.com/a/blog/5-reasons-not-to-masturbate-with-soap.

135scientific results that tell us this binary is patently false Y. J. Wong and A. B. Rochlen, “Demystifying Men’s Emotional Behavior: New Direction and Implications for Counseling and Research,” Psychology of Men & Masculinity 6, no. 1 (2005): 62–72, https://doi.org/10.1037/1524-9220.6.1.62.

Chapter 8: Where Do Babies Come From?!

142a theory called scaffolding L. S. Vygotsky, “Interaction Between Learning and Development,” in M. Cole, V. John-Steiner, S. Scribner, and E. Souberman, eds., Mind in Society (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1935/1978), 79–91.

143theory posits that children do not develop the ability to see other people’s perspectives H. Wimmer and H. Mayringer, “False Belief Understanding in Young Children: Explanations Do Not Develop Before Predictions,” International Journal of Behavioral Development 22 no. 2 (1998): 403–22, https://doi.org/10.1080/016502598384441.

148what those in psychology refer to as schema American Psychological Association, “Schema,” APA Dictionary of Psychology, https://dictionary.apa.org/schema.

Chapter 9: The Feels

167intimacy is the bond one individual forms with another (or others) G. M. Timmerman, “A Concept Analysis of Intimacy,” Issues in Mental Health Nursing 12, no. 1 (1991): 19–30, DOI: 10.3109/01612849109058207.

167intimacy can generally be broken down into four different types: emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical Carmen Cuisido, “How to Nourish Different Types of Intimacy in Your Relationship,” Psych Central, August 18, 2022, https://psychcentral.com/relationships/nourishing-the-different-types-of-intimacy-in-your-relationship.

169Robert Sternberg proposed what he called the triangular theory of love R. J. Sternberg, “A Triangular Theory of Love,” Psychological Review 93 (1986): 119–35.

180most teens in the US wait until seventeen to have sex “United States Teens,” Guttmacher Institute, accessed November 8, 2023, http://www.guttmacher.org/united-states/teens; “Youth Risk Behavior Survey Data Summary & Trends Report,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011–2021, https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/pdf/YRBS_Data-Summary-Trends_Report2023_508.pdf.

Chapter 10: Consent NOW

194hormones are responsible for a myriad of changes, and also for a potential increase in sexual curiosity and the beginnings of sexual attraction “Normative Sexual Behavior,” National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth, https://ncsby.org/content/normative-sexual-behavior; J. Dennis Fortenbery, “Puberty and Adolescent Sexuality,” Hormones and Behavior 64, no. 2 (2013): 280–87.

Chapter 11: The Five Pillars of Safe Sex

215a lot of people would benefit from including lubrication in their sex lives Caitlin E. Kennedy, Ping Teresa Yeh, Jingjia Li, Lianne Gonsalves, and Manjulaa Narasimhan, “Lubricants for the Promotion of Sexual Health and Well-Being: A Systematic Review,” Sexual and Reproductive Health Matters 29, no. 3 (2022): 2044198, DOI: 10.1080/26410397.2022.2044198.

222anal sex should always involve additional lubrication “Butt What About Lube?,” Ending HIV, September 12, 2023, http://www.endinghiv.org/au/blog/butt-what-about-lube.

223no way during sex to tell if the other person has orgasmed unless you ask “Can a man tell if a woman orgasms?,” Go Ask Alice!, Columbia University, updated September 11, 2020, https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/how-to-tell-if-woman-orgasms.

Chapter 13: “The Internet Is for Porn” —Avenue Q

247age of first exposure to pornography has gotten younger “Age and Experience of First Exposure to Pornography: Relations to Masculine Norms,” Poster Session, Thursday, August 3, 11–11:50 a.m. EDT, Halls D and E, Level 2, Walter E. Washington Convention Center, 801 Mount Vernon Pl NW, Washington, DC; Michael B. Robb and Supreet Mann, “Teens and Pornography,” Common Sense Media, January 10, 2023, https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/research/report/2022-teens-and-pornography-final-web.pdf; S. Astle, N. Leonhardt, and B. Willoughby, “Home Base: Family of Origin Factors and the Debut of Vaginal Sex, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Maturbation, and Pornography Use in a National Sample of Adolescents,” Journal of Sex Research 57 (2020): 1089–99, https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2019.1691140.

248evidence that sexualized human bodies have been a point of curiosity for human beings for centuries Philip S. Rawson, Erotic Art of the East: The Sexual Theme in Oriental Painting and Sculpture (New York: Putnam, 1968), 380; John R. Clark, Roman Sex: 100 B.C. to A.D. 250 (New York: Harry N. Abrams, 2003), 168.