“It’s okay. I’m more worried about burning my stomach lining.” I chuckled, and he rolled his eyes.

“You don’t always have to make jokes with me. You can talk to me seriously.” He finished his beverage and pushed it away.

“What? I was telling the truth.”

He tilted his head and stared. “Are you going to play dumb right now?”

I wasn’t playing. I was perplexed. “You’ll have to explain because I’m not picking up what you’re laying down.”

“You’re upset that you don’t get to help Shorty because you liked her. She was the first person you hung out with when you didn’t have to. You even protected her over doing your job, which I’ve never seen you do.” He narrowed his eyes to drive home his point. “But I didn’t even mind because I was happy you had made a friend. I’m awesome, but you need someone other than me around.” He nudged me with his elbow, and I leaned into him.

“You’re right. I saw a kindred spirit in her, but she’s too sweet for her own good. I wanted to make sure she had the tools to protect herself from those who might exploit that vulnerability.”

“Are you sure that’s all it was?”

“What are you getting at?” I didn’t know where his line of questioning was going, but I wished he would come right out with it.

“I’m not accusing you of anything. It seems you might have been interested in her… as more than a friend.”

A chuckle escaped my lips before I realized he was serious. “You have to know better than that. Dating and me don’t mix. I’m jaded and prickly, like a porcupine. That doesn’t bode well for the people who try to get close to me.”

“But you let your guard down with her,” he rebutted, although he had no idea what he was talking about.

“Where are you getting your information? You haven’t heard our convos, and you’ve never seen us together. I think you might be living in a dream.”

He lifted a shoulder nonchalantly. “Okay. If you say so, I’ll believe you. But you’ve never put so much time and energy into something that wasn’t important to you. You used to do the same thing for Da⁠—”

“Remember, she is the one who shall not be named.” I mimed, zipping my lips.

I needed control of when she popped into my head, and after the breakup, Matrix and I made a deal that we wouldn’t discuss her unless I brought her up.

“Sorry. But I don’t think it’s bad for you to get back out there. It’s been years since you’ve tried getting to know someone.”

“Why are you suddenly concerned with my love life?” Something seemed off, and I wanted to know what it was.

“I just want to see you happy. That’s all.” A faint smile crossed his lips, but there was more he wasn’t telling me.

“Being alone makes me happy. I love myself and trust myself, which is more than I can say for others.” I tipped back the rest of my drink because I wasn’t interested in continuing this discussion.

I stood up, signaling I was done, and he followed suit. Getting this golf thing over with was best so I could go home. As we headed toward the door, I saw a tall blonde who looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her. She whooped loudly and ran toward the bar, leaving me face-to-face with someone I would know anywhere—Shiloh.

My pulse raced, and for a second, I wondered if Matrix was right. But I quickly shook that thought away. No, it was more likely a mixture of anger and excitement, knowing she was okay since she hadn’t responded to me all day. When we locked eyes, I could see a darkness there, and my heart sank.

Something happened, and my first instinct was to find out how I could fix it. What the fuck did that mean?

Chapter 14Shiloh

When I agreed to be Sonya and Devon's DD, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The struggle to find parking was just the beginning. As soon as we got out of the car, the constant high energy and enthusiasm of the place drained me completely. Exhaustion hit me hard as we pushed through the mob, and I wished I was at home, recharging.

Sonya was living her best life, chatting and waving to the people we passed. Every time we went out, she charmed everyone around her while I stayed in the background, trying to be inconspicuous. Luckily, it wasn’t just her personality that was giant—she was, too, and I could hide behind her effortlessly. That was until she took off running.

I didn’t have the energy to follow her, so I waited by the door until she got her drink. Most people seemed half-past tipsy, so I pretended to be on my phone and avoid eye contact. But I made the mistake of looking up and instantly regretted it when I saw Caz's piercing gaze fixed on me.

She was the last person I wanted to see right now. Anger pulsed through my veins, but her expression was unreadable. There was a softness in her eyes, and it was probably shame. I glanced around to see if Ember was with her, but from what I could tell, she was alone. I shouldn’t jump to that conclusion because she could have been meeting her outside for all I knew.

As she stepped toward me, I darted in the opposite direction, fleeing like I’d seen a ghost. I bumped into people left and right, but I didn’t stop to apologize. I hoped she wouldn’t chase me and I could get lost in the chaos.

Once I felt a safe distance away from the door, I slowed my pace and collected my thoughts. What was I doing? I was better than this—better than practically ghosting someone. I needed to have a conversation with her and tell her how she hurt my feelings but now wasn’t the time.

When I looked over my shoulder, I couldn’t see through the bodies, but she was no longer in front of me. I quickly texted Sonya to let her know I had moved because I didn’t want to lose her. However, I didn't need to say anything because, as I turned towards the bar, I could see her dancing on top of it.

These were the poor decisions I had hoped to keep her from making, but I didn’t realize they would happen so quickly. By the time I reached her, Caz was already there, helping her down.

“Hey. You’re a good dancer, but you don’t want to show off those moves for free.” Caz was speaking to Sonya like a child, which she sort of was.

“You think I should become a stripper?” Of course, Sonya went there. She had always been an exhibitionist.

Caz laughed, and I missed that sound. If I were honest, I missed her. As mad as I was, I couldn’t blame her, could I? Ember was magnetic, and Caz probably couldn’t defend herself from her womanly wiles—I knew I couldn’t.

“No. That’s not what I meant. I think you might regret letting people tape you when you don’t know what they will do with it.”

“Oh, you think they’ll sell it and not pay me?” Sonya had no idea what Caz was protecting her from, and I decided now was my time to step in.

“Thank you.” I offered Caz a shy smile. “But I can take care of it from here.” I grabbed Sonya’s arm and moved her away from the bar.

“No problem. I don’t want to see someone get taken advantage of.” She did a two-finger salute and started to walk away.

“Wait.” I couldn’t believe I had stopped her, but something felt final about her leaving, and I wasn’t ready for that. “I’m on babysitting duty tonight and obviously not up for the job alone. Would you want to keep me company?”

She glanced over her shoulder, then turned back to me. “Um⁠—”

I was probably right, and she was meeting Ember. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’re here with someone. Go have fun.” I waved her off, but she didn’t move.

“I am, but let me text him to see if he’ll be okay flying solo.” She pulled out her phone, but the pronoun she used wasn’t lost on me.

There was a reason my therapist told me not to assume. It wasn’t because I would make an ass out of you and me. It was because my instincts were hardly ever accurate. That didn’t mean I was wrong about Caz and Ember having a crush on each other, but maybe I was wrong about Caz jumping on it. I didn’t know what to think, but I needed to talk to her to find out the truth.

“I’m all yours.” Caz raised one eyebrow as she smiled widely, and I was taken aback for a second.

With just one glance, she could stir up intense emotions in others, and I wondered if that trait could be taught or if she was born with it.

“Hey, I thought you wanted to go home with me tonight?” Sonya slurred a little, and I steadied her as I judged Caz’s reaction.

“I hate to disappoint you, but I will always go home alone.” Caz took Sonya’s other arm, and we walked toward the exit.

“Hold on!” We all stopped as I just realized something. “Where’s Devon?”

“Devon?” Sonya asked as if she didn’t know who I was talking about.